Who I am and who I was...

Me today and me 3 years ago, well I've changed a lot...

About 2 and a half years ago my beloved mother died, nothing in my life was and still is more important to me than my mother.
I loved her more than anything in this world.
I already had depression cause of my workplace and lots of stress.
Everything got worse with my moms death... I hurt myself, I lost my mind and even attempted suicide more than once.

Psychiatrists and psychotherapists didn't help me at all, I never got a therapy, just tons of different weird antidepressants.
I attempted suicide once more and took way to many pills... I was in coma for about 4 days. After that I never took antidepressants ever again.

During my time of bad depression my today ex-boyfriend put me under pressure he was always trying to demand things I couldn't handle.
I couldn't give him what he wanted and one day he just took what he wanted and raped me... Of course I broke up with him after that.

I'm still not well, but it gets better over time. At least I'm not hurting myself anymore and stopped thinking about suicide.
Now about 1 year ago I try to fulfill a wish I have since I'm 12.
Being female never felt completly right to me. I cut my hair and got rid of the girly stuff I had. I finally changed my style what makes me kinda happy.

I hope I can get a fresh start in my life by trying to stop being someone else and start being myself. <3